Every time I go to the bathroom on campus and close the stall door I find myself faced with some bathroom graffiti. Some profound statement. ”Seize this moment.” ”Live life to the fullest.” ”Every second is precious.” ”Be kind to others.” ”Everyone has their own battles.” “Take this moment to notice life because life is short.”
WTF people? I’m peeing. I’m not taking a moment to remember life and recognizing the greatest second of my life. Do you seriously think that while I am searching for toilet paper that I suddenly realize that this particular scribbled bathroom graffiti is so fucking profound that my entire life has changed? OMG how did I not realize this all of the other times I’ve gone pee? Why am I just learning (while I’m peeing) that life is precious and each moment is fragile? To think I was wasting my time trying to hurry and pee and get back to class and/or studying when I could have just looked up at the bathroom stall door and learned all of life’s great lessons! That every single second I’m peeing in this bathroom stall, that this moment.. THAT exact moment is a singular event of great profoundness.
No, it isn’t. It is some pretentious little bit who doesn’t even bother to put quotations around their stolen sentences and fails to cite their sources.
I’m peeing. It isn’t profound. Cows pee. It isn’t profound either. Far more impressive mind you, but not profound. No, if I want to find a moment to get “deep into my thoughts” and to “recognize the beauty of the world” it isn’t in some bathroom stall.
Like really? Really? You think you are deeply profound because you wrote “Remember to be beautiful” on the bathroom door. You aren’t profound. You are a vandal. A douchebag vandal. You want to be helpful? Write, “Remember to flush.”